Economic Recovery? Yeah. Too Much Economic Recovery

It’s true: I stand firm by my conviction that the global economy is in a lot of trouble. I think the dollar is failing. Yes, I believe inflation is rumbling at us like a herd of naked fat people chasing a chocolate truck.

And now, people are accusing me of being a pessimist. Take this note from reader last week:

“Mr. Ahlgren, I appreciate your intelligence and your passion, but you are contributing to the destruction of over 200 years of tradition and values…”

Dear Ms. Emailer:

1. I’m not destroying anything. That’s what Ben and Barack are doing.

2. The people who set this thing up over 200 years ago would be furious at this country, its leaders, and you for not seeing that this debacle has nothing to do with what happened in the late 18th century.

3. I’m neither passionate, nor intelligent. Ask anyone.

Forgive my presumptuousness, but what, exactly, is “pessimistic” about  observing the most fiscally profligate government in the last 200 years (if not in all of history) inflate itself into oblivion? What is “pessimistic” about watching this ignorant, arrogant, unrestrained nuclear power print money and ease credit as though it were God’s own personal banker? Am I a “pessimist” for wondering what this federal government  –  which is so dislocated from the Rights of Man — will do when it realizes the well has run dry?

No, I am not a pessimist. I am a realist, and I am a voice of reason. And I’m chortling at the image of Ben Bernanke and Barack Obama hobnobbing with all the great “thinkers” in Washington, nodding their heads enthusiastically at ideas like “print” and “ease” and “stimulate.” They’re like a pack of heroin addicts, collectively promising to “only use what they need.” What a filthy joke. Unfortunately, the punchline isn’t going to leave people rolling in the aisles.

I decided to ask a few of my critics to pinpoint the precise foundations of these preposterous “pessimistic” ascriptions, and interestingly, they almost universally said something like this: “You just don’t think the economy is ever going to recover.”

Now that’s just plain old silly. Imagine me leaning my head back, opening my mouth, and guffawing so hard that my chair falls over backward. (That actually happened last night by the way. And I was sober.)

Look, I think the economy is going to come screaming back. Because that’s what inflation does. Now the important question is this: do you think such an environment is good? Because if you do, you’re in for a very rude shock. Your government (whether you live in Alabama or Albania) is determined to inflate every single major currency on earth in order to battle this economic crisis. And yet, what seems to be eluding almost everyone is that inflating every currency on earth (and easing credit to absurdly low levels) is like letting a pack of jackals

babysit your child. It’s just stupid.

Am I a pessimist? Absolutely not. Do I think the economy is never going to recover? See above. Do I think we’re all about to ride through hell? Yes I do. When you’re cold, if you stand too close to the fire, you’ll get burned. When you’re thirsty, immersing yourself in water could result in drowning. The metaphors might seem trite to the more cynical and complacent among you. And that’s fine, because nobody loves cynicism more than I do. But just remember that cynicism — in and of itself — cannot keep your children warm and fed.

Oh, and by the way, The United States Government spurns immigrants, and tortures those people whom it deems to be “dissidents.” It kills millions of people in the name of “freedom.” Don’t talk to me about patriotism and love-of-country. This isn’t Jefferson’s idea, nor Paine’s, nor Washington’s. This is a sick satire, run by people who have learned to distort, uglify, and rape something unique and beautiful to the point that she’s broken, bleeding, and begging for death in the corner of her cell.

Disclosures: Paco is long TBT, UCO, and gold. He also holds U.S. dollars by necessity, pending the advent of private gold-backed currencies.